An online comic about
a vampire on a reality show.
Updates at 00:00 on Sundays.

Archive

2013

May 19|All of the Schadenfreude, None of the Calories
May 12|Think Positive!
May 5|Adding Insult to Empty Threat
April 28|This Gabe Gets Around
April 21|The Warranty is now Void.
April 14|That Time of the Decade
April 7|He’s Okay.
March 31|He Asked.
March 24|Jigsaw Wants to Skip to the Punchline
March 17|Where the Sunny Don’t Shine
March 10|A Little Too High, but Acceptable.
March 3|Wait For It…
February 24|Information’s Ransom is to be Free
February 17|Whiplash is Painful.
February 10|Yank and Shank
February 3|Screw the Odds! They Already Screw You.
January 27|“I’m Thinking Bulletproof Armor.”
January 20|Gabriel Does Not Count as a Reliable, Published Source.
January 13|Need to Cover That Ass.
January 6|Pomf and Circumstance

2012

December 30|Some Parts are Faster than Others.
December 23|Out of Breath, not Ideas
December 16|Hello, Fan! Care to Guess my Name?
December 9|Answering Her Own Questions isn’t as Fun.
December 2|Leave a Message After the…
November 25|Not Much Life Down There.
November 18|He Said A Lot of Things.
November 11|Scared, not Stupid.
November 4|Game On!
October 28|How Would She Know?
October 21|She’s Right Because She’s Wrong.
October 14|Djumbass.
October 7|No Tugging!
September 30|Baby Got Backup!
September 23|Yes, It’s Safe to Keep Reading.
September 16|What Little Honor He Has Left.
September 9|Finally, Arikos is Useful!
September 2|The Longest Story is Always the One You’re Telling.
August 26|Everyone Could Use a Hand!
August 19|Better Than the Drunk for Gossip (and More Reliable Too!)
August 12|Tired of Connecting the Heads to the Bodies
August 5|She Copied a Little TOO Well.
July 29|How Many Ways Could THIS Go Wrong?
July 22|She’s Not Taking This Lying Down.
July 15|The Sad Thing Is, He’s Right About One Thing.
July 8|Yeah, He’s Mr. Reliable.
July 1|Not Without Reason.
June 24|Backstory Ahoy!
June 17|Doesn’t Work for Newspapers, Either.
June 10|… Maybe with some Added Jokes.
June 3|What Else Do Kids Do In The Dark These Days?
May 27|Doesn’t Count.
May 20|You Know, When the ROBOT Cares More…
May 13|Couldn’t Have Built a Better Time Bomb.
May 6|Again, Showering is Very Important.
April 29|I Hear a Heavy Bat Works Better.
April 22|Ten Little Teenagers +1
April 15|Research is Serious Business.
April 8|It’s called Science FICTION for a reason.
April 1|Not His First Rodeo.
March 25|“Needs Salt.”
March 18|Veled Taught Her Well.
March 11|“Stubborn. Shifty. You’ll Like Her.”
March 4|For Want of a Time Out…
February 26|Tough Crowd.
February 19|She Speaks Truth.
February 12|Cutting Out an Unnecessary Step.
February 5|Loyalty is Subjective.
January 29|Wait…
January 22|Maybe He Could Spin A Wheel Instead?
January 15|You Can Feel What’s Coming, Can’t You?
January 8|And To Think SHE’S The Blonde…
January 1|“A Healthy Glow” Has Been Added to Your Inventory!

2011

December 25|And To All a Good Bite!
December 18|The Power of the Veto.
December 11|If Only.
December 4|Let’s Go With That.
November 27|The Chain of Command
November 20|Wordless Victory!
November 13|No Shame in That.
November 6|“… and stop sparkling!”
October 30|In for a Treat!
October 23|Back to the Show!
October 16|Let the Mind Games Begin.
October 9|Even a Broken Clock Can Still Be Right.
October 2|Some Motives are More Obvious than Others.
September 25|What’s the Point in Flipping Someone Off When They Can’t See It?
September 18|Lies, Damned Lies, and Standing Orders
September 11|“Bingo” is Clearly a Euphemism.
September 4|That Sound You Hear is Everybody Clicking on Wikipedia.
August 28|No Sense Letting All That Power Go To Waste.
August 21|All We’re Missing is a Rainbow.
August 14|For Certain Values of Pony.
August 7|For Once, I Like The Way Geisha Thinks.
July 31|She Overclocked Her Taser.
July 24|He Has Experience.
July 17|Two Dozen Eyeballs Too Many.
July 10|Battle Of The Braids
July 3|Subtext Is Everything.
June 26|Just Guilty Enough To Look Innocent.
June 19|I Think Johnny Cash Wrote a Song About This.
June 12|Also, “Snakes Hair Furry Lizard” Would Have Been Acceptable.
June 5|Take The Money!
May 29|I Envy His Credit Protection Program…
May 22|Why You Never, Ever, EVER Taunt the Police. Even the Fake Kind.
May 15|This Would Be Less Embarassing If It Was His First Time.
May 8|[GUEST COMIC] First Option – Third Section
May 1|[GUEST COMIC] First Option, Second Part
April 24|[Guest Comic] – First Option
April 17|[PROMO] Art Show at Urban Grind Coffee House!
April 10|Now THAT is How You Do a Cliffhanger.
April 3|Redefining “Pyrrhic Victory” by Taking Out the Victory.
March 27|Ride This Out!
March 20|To Be Fair, He Doesn’t Have That Much to Sacrifice.
March 13|Tough Call.
March 6|Red Tape Kills.
February 27|Time To Hoof It!
February 20|Desperate Times Call For Desperate News Sources
February 13|That Pun Was Dead On Arrival.
February 6|Keep The Reciept!
January 30|Don’t Call It A Deux Ex Machina; He’s Been Here for Years!
January 23|Let’s Play “Ragging on the Man With The Gun!”
January 16|How It All Goes To Hell
January 9|Dispose Of Your Enemies in Thirty Seconds or Less!
January 2|How To Leave Out a Punchline

2010

December 26|Why Talking Is Still a Free Action
December 19|The Best Way To Negotiate, Ever!
December 12|Who has the Better Stripes?
December 5|One Way To Make a Lasting Impression
November 28|How Not To Deflect Suspicion
November 21|Keep The Camera Rolling
November 14|Bowling For Bozos
November 7|Insult And Release
October 31|The Treat Is The Trick
October 24|Ride That Rocket!
October 17|It’s Universal!
October 10|Let Your Whole Body Scream!
October 3|Going Gold Isn’t Always a Good Thing.
September 26|Just Ask Her!
September 19|Bust A Drum!
September 12|Uh Oh.
September 5|The Problem With Broadcasting Live.
August 29|And He Wants A Refund!
August 22|Hammer, Meet Nail.
August 15|Stop Viruses; Practice Safe Hex!
August 8|Just Another Way To Reduce Healthcare Costs.
August 1|Have You Hugged Your Idiot Today?
July 25|My Favorite Game (When I’m Not The One Playing)!
July 18|Debatus Interruptus
July 11|Missed It By This Much.
July 4|Fireworks Are Best Set Off By Someone Else.
June 27|Now THAT’s a Jury of Your Peers.
June 20|She Doesn’t Like The Big Bow in the Back.
June 13|Mostly Silent, But Still Deadly.
June 6|If Real Zombies Ever Learn Parkour, We’re Doomed.
May 30|Fly, Already!
May 23|She Learns FAST!
May 16|Guess Who She Fears More.
May 9|Looks Like Volume Two Might Be Cut Short.
May 2|Those Words Hit A Little Close To Home…
April 25|They Have A Real Step-Sibling Rivalry Going.
April 18|She’s Only Allowed to Take That Kind of Abuse from Her Superiors.
April 11|No, Jigsaw Will Not Put On The Dress.
April 4|Speech! Speech!! SPEECH!!!
March 28|We’re Gonna Party Like It’s 1989
March 21|Paw In Mouth Is A Terrible Disease
March 14|Even Armageddon Beats A Zero Percent Approval Rating
March 7|Big Trouble in Little Arael
February 28|Rule Two Involves Intimidating Those Who Break Rule One.
February 21|Oooh, Exposition!
February 14|Nope, We Didn’t Forget.
February 7|[Guest Comic] Glued To The Spot
January 31|[Guest Comic] The Epic Battle!
January 24|[Guest Comic-ish] Daisy’s Chill
January 17|[Guest Comic-ish] Cypress’s Annoyance
January 10|[Guest Comic-ish] Slick’s Point
January 3|[Guest Comic-ish] Jigsaw’s Puzzle

2009

December 27|And Now, A Word From Our Sponsor… [Guest Comic]
December 20|And Scene!
December 13|Too Easy.
December 6|And The Punchline Is A Real Killer!
November 29|You Didn’t Care For Him Anyway
November 22|Almost Done With This Flashback, Honest!
November 15|Who Needs A Shirt When You Have Poles?
November 8|Edward, Eat Your Heart Out
November 1|Playing Into Her Hand, Just How She Likes It.
October 25|Just In Time…
October 18|That Might Slow Things a Bit.
October 11|Now She Has To Serve It Herself.
October 4|That Might Help.
September 27|Huh. She’s Right.
September 20|Work, Play, And Die Where You Live.
September 13|They Also Whine Less.
September 6|Busted…
August 30|Think Fast!
August 23|That Old Reptilian Instinct
August 16|Everyone Loves To Pluck a Daisy.
August 9|With One Exception.
August 2|Of Course It’s Rigged!
July 26|Insurance Means Never Having to Say “I Surrender”
July 19|What A Mess.
July 12|Right Response… Terrible Timing.
July 5|Looks Like She Broke.
June 28|Go on, Raise Your Hand.
June 21|This Ought’a Be Good.
June 14|Never A Good Time to be Hit with a Dose of Reality.
June 7|Goes Great With Eggs!
May 31|Back In The Bottle She Goes!
May 24|Well What’d'ya Know. He has a Spine After All.
May 17|Objects in Bottle are Larger than they Appear.
May 10|Death is Expensive. Punchlines are Cheap.
May 3|That Wit is Razor-Sharp!
April 26|It’s Ironic how Forcing Irony on a Situation Always Works.
April 19|Bedside Manner Needs Work.
April 12|Hey, Two Millenia of Experience is a Great Selling Point.
April 5|You Think You’d Notice Something like That…
March 29|Ask A Stupid Question…
March 22|Shock, Shock… Goose.
March 15|My Eventual Publisher Is Going To Hate Me For This
March 8|Springing All Sorts Of Surprises
March 1|Run.
February 22|What Did You Expect? Humans?
February 15|Eye Spy Something That Begins With “T”
February 8|Don’t Tell Me Where That Idea Came From
February 1|Just Because People Die Doesn’t Mean We Want Them To Do It All At Once
January 25|Would You Like A Sandwich To Go With That? Perhaps A Drink?
January 18|That’s A Lot Of People To Screw Up In Front Of
January 11|I Bet She Would Love Some Earplugs
January 4|Of Course The Show Has Its Own Theme Song

2008

December 31|The Fourth Estate Has No Respect For Perfectly Good Blackmail
December 28|But, But, But, She Has Totally Different Glasses!
December 21|When In Doubt, Just Get Something Off Your Chest
December 14|His Outfit Is For A Different Kind Of Fighting
December 7|One Way To Put A Smile On Her Face
November 30|Well, This Is About To Get Awkward
November 23|Showering Is Honestly Very Important
November 16|“And Don’t You DARE Tell Me She’s Dead Tired!”
November 9|Too Much Of A Psychopath For Standup
November 2|Death By Red Tape Strangulation; It’s More Common Than You Think
October 26|Who Do You Feel Sorry For, The Girl Or The Dog?
October 19|What An Out Of Body Experience!
October 12|I Admire A Leader Who Can Face Her Critics
October 5|The Right Information Is Always At Her Fingertips
September 28|Nobody Makes A Grand Enterance Like A Teleport
September 21|Fear The Disembodied Hand
September 14|Say Nothing About The Cake
September 7|And Still No George Lucas Love Story
August 31|[Insert Political Bickering Here]
August 24|I Thought The Children Of Youtube Would Be LESS Scary…
August 17|Name One Person Who Wears Their Hair Like That Willingly
August 10|They Do In Fact Talk Offscreen
August 3|She’s Upset Because She Cares. Oh, And The Bite Still Hurts.
July 27|Most Programmers Forget To Error Check For Undead
July 20|And Just Like Bloodwork, You Can Still Screw It Up
July 12|I Wonder If Human Blood Is Kosher…
July 5|Definitely No Subtext In This Page At All. Nope. None. Nada.
June 28|Because Rape Is Only Funny When George Carlin Mentions It
June 24|Is The Apathy Or The Betting More Disturbing?
June 22|They Should At Least Be Less Cheerful About It
June 15|Common Courtesy: A Rare Trait In Teenagers
June 14|Bonus Comic – Pamphlet Teaser
June 13|Bonus Comic – Jigsaw’s Freaked
June 12|Bonus Comic – Xanatos Rants
June 11|Bonus Comic – Explaining The Soul Spectrum
June 10|Bonus Comic – Daisy’s Leg
June 9|Bonus Comic Cover – With White Noise!
June 8|Someone With That Many Teeth Should Be Less Easily Spooked
June 1|White Is Equally Prejudiced Towards Everyone
May 25|Secrets Are Only Fun When Other People Know You Have Them
May 18|Hiding Secrets From A Mindreader Does Not Work. Seriously.
May 11|We Will In Fact Have Instant Messaging In The Future
May 8|Note To Self: Always Turn Down The “Embassy Tour”
May 4|Alternatively, When In Doubt, Trust Your Cousin
April 30|When In Doubt, Trust Your Teeth
April 27|Hey, SOMEBODY Had To Figure It Out First
April 20|Being A Know-It-All Sucks
April 13|No, I DON’T Know How They Made Paw Booties
April 6|What Kind Of Reality Show Would This Be Without Lawyers?
March 31|The Punchline’s Dead, But Exposition Has An Alibi
March 23|Because One Old Man Deserves Another
March 16|A Cultural Reference And A Cliffhanger
March 9|Because Of Course You Can Trust A Murderous Cultist
March 2|The Best Armor Always Starts With The Skivvies
February 24|She Went Through Tons Of Babysitters As A Cub
February 17|Even In The Future There Is No Defense Against Puppy Eyes
February 10|She Who Wears Glass In Cleavage Needs Head Examined
February 3|Give Them A Hand, Or Even Better, A Foot
January 27|At Least She’s Not Jumping On A Couch
January 20|Something Tells Me He Liked Solitary Confinement
January 13|He Has A Brain And Knows How To Use It
January 6|Wingspan Of An Albatross… Brain Of A Barn Swallow

2007

December 30|We Are Not Cavemen! We Have Technology!
December 23|It’s Rude To Ask If You Don’t Go First
December 19|We Have Always Been At War With The Dead Inside
December 16|I Told You This Story Had Gore In It
December 12|Decisions, Decisions…
December 9|Strike One And Strike Two
December 2|Jason Is Not That Shallow. Honest.
November 25|Well, Almost Every Woman
November 18|Among The Blind, The One Eyed Man Is Insane
November 11|Striking, But Is It Art?
November 4|Foreshortening, Foreshadowing, It’s All Good
October 31|Just Because You Are A Hammer Does Not Mean Everyone Wants To Get Nailed
October 28|They’re All Still Alive All Right
October 26|Bonus Comic – Pay Attention!
October 25|Bonus Comic – The Types of Dead Inside
October 24|Bonus Comic – Shattering
October 23|Bonus Comic – Explaining Sterling
October 22|Bonus Comic – A Robot Explains Souls
October 21|Backstory, Interrupted
October 17|Hints Of A Background, Coming Right Up
October 14|Come On, There’s ALWAYS A Secret Identity Involved
October 10|Some Things Never Change
October 7|Rules Only Have To Make Sense To Other Rules
October 3|Stupid Bullies, Seeing Things You Don’t
September 30|That’s What You Get For Blinking
September 23|Realism In A Reality Show? About Time
September 16|Just Be Glad This Isn’t A Face Off
September 9|Everyone’s A Little Bit Racist Sometimes
September 2|Oops, There Goes The Rating
August 26|Well Excu-u-u-se Me, Princess!
August 19|There Will Not Be A Pop Quiz On This
August 12|*throws popcorn* Start The Show Already!
August 5|I Cheated When Drawing This Page
July 29|Yes, She Has A Noisy Chest
July 22|I Should Show People’s Feet More Often
July 15|All Dads Know How To Bellow; It’s In The Manual
July 14|Bonus Comic – Four By Four Special – The Boys
July 13|Bonus Comic – Four By Four Special – Addy
July 12|Bonus Comic – Four By Four Special – Jigsaw
July 11|Bonus Comic – Four By Four Special – Cypress
July 10|Bonus Comic – Four By Four Special (Mailer Image)
July 9|Bonus Comic – Four By Four Special (Cover)
July 8|Oh The Irony In This Page
July 1|And The Plot Thickens
June 27|Cue The Religious Wrong
June 24|So Hard To Find Good Royalty These Days
June 20|Daisy, Daisy, Give Me Your Answer True…
June 17|Yes, That’s A Dobbs Ikon Around His Neck
June 13|Steeee-rike!
June 10|I Had To Keep My Mouth Shut For Three Weeks For This Punchline
June 6|Being Thrown In Jail Is Either Merciful Or Torturous
June 3|Yes, We Have Backstory. Don’t Worry, We Won’t Do This Much.
May 30|This Is Not For Shock Value; It’s A Harbinger
May 27|No Matter Where You Go, The Cops Are Reasonably Lazy
May 23|Please Refrain From The Chickenhead Jokes
May 20|Followed By Anime Stereotype #17: The Dude In Distress
May 16|Anime Sterotype #73: The Softened Landing
May 13|Finally Some Damn Sci-Fi Elements To This
May 9|Well It Was Either Reveal It Now Or Wait Three Years
May 6|Ah, Dramatic Irony Awaits
May 2|My Recruiter Can Beat Up Your Recruiter
April 29|The One With The Anime-Style Drama To It
April 25|Speaking Of Thin Ice… Someone’s On It.
April 22|That’s Supposed To Be “Thin Ice” By Looney Labs
April 18|And Now For Something A Little More Masculine
April 15|A Good Secretary Always Knows Her Boss
April 11|Qualified In All The Right Places… For Someone Else’s Job
April 8|Thinking About It Is Still Fair Game, Though
April 4|Cursing Around Your Boss Isn’t A Great Idea
April 1|That Sound You Hear Is A Shattered Stereotype